There is a time to show love, and that time is not after someone is gone.
An African proverb says:
“It is better to give someone a chicken when alive than to donate a cow during his funeral.”
At first glance, the proverb may sound humorous, but its message carries a serious lesson about kindness, appreciation, generosity and human relationships.
Show Love While People Are Still Alive
Many people wait until someone dies before they begin to demonstrate how much that person meant to them.
At funerals, families and friends may spend large amounts of money, organize elaborate ceremonies, provide food and drinks, or make generous donations in honour of the deceased.
But the person receiving all those tributes is no longer there to see them, hear them or enjoy them.
That is the wisdom behind the proverb.
A chicken given to someone while they are alive may seem small, but the person can appreciate the gesture. They can eat it, celebrate with you, thank you and remember your kindness.
A cow donated at their funeral, on the other hand, may be a much bigger gift—but the person can no longer benefit from it.
Why Do We Wait Until It Is Too Late?
The proverb raises an uncomfortable question:
Why do some people become generous only after someone has died?
Sometimes, we take the people around us for granted. We assume our parents, friends, relatives and loved ones will always be there.
We postpone the phone call.
We postpone the visit.
We postpone saying, “I appreciate you.”
We postpone helping someone who is struggling.
Then, when that person dies, regret can take over.
Suddenly, we remember all the things we could have done while they were alive.
A Small Gesture Can Mean More Than Money
Generosity is not always about giving large amounts of money.
Sometimes, it is simply:
Calling someone to check on them.
Buying food for someone who needs it.
Supporting a friend’s business.
Helping a family member through a difficult period.
Visiting an elderly relative.
Encouraging someone who feels discouraged.
Saying “thank you” while there is still time.
Showing appreciation without waiting for a funeral.
A small act of kindness can create a memory that lasts for years.
The Real Meaning of the “Chicken and Cow”
The chicken and cow are symbols of timing.
The lesson is not that giving a cow at a funeral is wrong. Rather, it reminds us that love and generosity are most meaningful when the person can experience them personally.
Why wait until someone’s funeral to celebrate them?
Why not celebrate them while they can smile?
Why wait until someone is gone before telling others how wonderful they were?
Why not tell them today?
Give Your “Chicken” Today
Perhaps there is someone in your life who needs your support right now.
Maybe they don’t need a cow.
Maybe they don’t even need much.
They may simply need a phone call, encouragement, food, financial assistance, a visit or a reminder that somebody cares.
Don’t wait until the funeral to show appreciation.
Give your “chicken” while they are alive.
Because sometimes, the smallest gesture made at the right time is worth more than the biggest gesture made too late.
What do you think?
Would you rather receive a small act of kindness while you are alive, or have people make a huge gesture in your honour after you are gone?
Share your thoughts in the comments.
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