A masked Nigerian surrogate mother has opened up about how financial hardship and what she described as an irresponsible partner led her to become a surrogate, saying the decision came after the loss of her second child.
The woman disclosed this during a new episode on Cruise TV published on YouTube on Sunday, where she recounted the emotional, financial and psychological realities of carrying children for other families.
She said becoming a surrogate was one of the hardest decisions she had ever made, describing the emotional attachment that develops during pregnancy despite knowing the child does not belong to her.
“Emotionally it’s not easy. Even when I started the journey, when the pregnancy was three months, I called my nurse that I don’t think I can cope again because it’s not easy to carry what is not yours.
“When you start having the emotional attachment, you keep reminding yourself that this is not mine. I tell myself it is a job, and that helps me cope, but the emotions still come and go.”
The woman explained that she became a gestational surrogate through IVF, meaning she had no biological connection to the babies she carried.
Speaking on what pushed her into surrogacy, she said her partner failed to provide for the family despite her efforts to support them.
“I had my first child. Unfortunately, my husband is not the person that is hardworking and he doesn’t take responsibility. I do work. There is no work I cannot do.
“When I became pregnant the second time, I could no longer work. We couldn’t even afford hospital bills.”
She said complications during the pregnancy eventually led to the death of the baby, an experience that changed her outlook.
“That baby died, and that was the reason I made that decision. Instead of giving him another baby, I would rather help people who have the money to take care of me.
“If you don’t have the money to care for my health, I won’t do it for you.”
She disclosed that she initially declined financial compensation beyond medical care, accommodation and allowances, a decision she now regrets.
“I told them I didn’t want any compensation aside from the process, monthly allowance, wardrobe allowance and accommodation fee, but that was a mistake.
“I won’t do it again,” she said.
The surrogate mother also said she would not encourage her daughter to follow the same path because of the emotional and health risks involved.
“I cannot advise my daughter to be a surrogate.”
She added that she relocated during one of her pregnancies to avoid stigma and often told people the baby had died whenever they asked questions.
According to her, surrogate mothers also face psychological challenges after delivery despite undergoing counselling before and after childbirth.
While acknowledging that surrogacy has helped many couples struggling with infertility, she maintained that the process is far more demanding than many people realise.
“Surrogacy is not as simple as people think.”
She called for stronger regulation of the practice to protect surrogate mothers from exploitation and ensure adequate emotional and financial support.
punch.ng
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