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The Name Given To Me By My Parents Was A Curse – Phyna

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Reality TV star, Josephina Otabor, popularly known as Phyna, has opened up about the struggles she faced while growing up and why she does not like the name given to her at birth.

During a recent interview with Ezinne Akudo on the show Beyond With Ezinne, the former Big Brother Naija winner said her parents named her Blessing, but she came to dislike the name because her life did not reflect its meaning.

It was reports that Phyna explained that as she was growing up, many parts of her life were very difficult.

According to her, she often felt like she was always begging for love from people around her, including family members, friends and even in relationships.

She said the situation made her feel as if the name Blessing did not match the experiences she was going through.

The reality star also spoke about the pain she felt after the death of her sister. She said the loss deeply affected her, and at one point, she even wished she could die because of the emotional burden she was carrying at the time.

She said, “The name given to me by my parents is Blessing. My reasons for hating that name was you don’t see sense of blessing in my life. Because you know, it felt like I was always begging for love, family love, friendship, even in relationships. In fact, Dem don use am curse me. All aspects of life for me, growing up was very crazy. Even when you’re a teenager, there are things you could get from parents, from friends, family I didn’t have that, but I knew for one that I was going to be big.

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“Then I always tell my aunts, everybody, even when they beat me or maltreat me, today, the next minute I will see when I go watch me for television, you know, I go get money. People always say negative things about me. Even when I’m trying my best, it affects me. It affects my workload. They are quick to broke shame me. In fact, when my sister died, I wanted to die. A lot was going on with me. It actually makes me feel God is with me because so many things have happened that I suppose don really run mad.”

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Lifestyle

LACK OF TRUST IN MARRIAGE

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A marriage can survive difficult times, financial struggles, and disagreements—but when trust disappears, the relationship begins to lose its foundation.

When a husband no longer trusts his wife, or a wife no longer trusts her husband, even innocent actions can become suspicious. A simple phone call becomes a question. Coming home late becomes an accusation. A private conversation becomes a source of fear and jealousy.

Lack of trust creates emotional distance.

It produces constant suspicion, arguments, insecurity, resentment, and sometimes secretive behaviour. Instead of feeling safe with each other, couples begin to feel like enemies living under the same roof.

Trust is not built by controlling your spouse, checking their phone every minute, or constantly demanding explanations. Trust is built through honesty, faithfulness, transparency, consistency, and keeping your word.

If trust has been broken, don’t pretend everything is fine. Talk about it. Admit mistakes. Forgive where possible. Set healthy boundaries. And be willing to rebuild what has been damaged.

Remember: love may bring two people together, but trust helps keep them together.

💔 Don’t allow suspicion to destroy what communication and honesty can repair.

BUILD TRUST. BE FAITHFUL. BE HONEST. PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE.

“Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour.”
— Ephesians 4:25 (KJV)

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LACK OF OPENNESS IN MARRIAGE

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A marriage can look beautiful on the outside and still be struggling on the inside when there is no openness between husband and wife.

When couples stop communicating honestly, keep secrets, hide their feelings, or are afraid to discuss important issues, emotional distance begins to grow. What starts as “I don’t want to cause a problem” can eventually become mistrust, resentment, loneliness, and constant misunderstanding.

Openness does not mean telling your spouse everything in a hurtful or careless way. It means creating a safe relationship where both partners can honestly talk about their feelings, concerns, mistakes, finances, expectations, struggles, and dreams without fear of unnecessary humiliation or condemnation.

A strong marriage requires:

• Honest communication — Talk about problems instead of allowing them to grow in silence.
• Trust and transparency — Avoid unnecessary secrecy that can damage confidence in the relationship.
• Active listening — Listen to understand, not simply to respond or attack.
• Emotional vulnerability — Let your spouse know when you are hurting, worried, disappointed, or afraid.
• Respect — Honesty should never become an excuse for insults, threats, or emotional abuse.
• Forgiveness — When mistakes are acknowledged, work together toward healing and restoration.

The Bible says:

“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” — Proverbs 11:14 (KJV)

And:

“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” — James 1:19 (KJV)

Marriage should be a place where two people can feel safe enough to communicate, honest enough to admit their weaknesses, and humble enough to work through their differences.

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Don’t allow silence, secrets, and suspicion to build walls between you and your spouse. Talk. Listen. Understand. Forgive. Grow together.

❤️ Openness builds trust. Trust strengthens intimacy. And healthy communication helps build a stronger marriage.

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THE EFFECT OF LAYING CURSES ON YOUR CHILDREN

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Be careful with the words you speak to your children.

A child should not grow up hearing, “You will never succeed,” “You are useless,” “Nothing good will come from you,” or “You will suffer in life.” Words spoken repeatedly by a parent can deeply affect a child’s emotions, confidence, and relationship with the family.

Even when spoken in anger, such words can become negative messages that a child may carry for many years.

SOME EFFECTS OF CONSTANTLY CURSING YOUR CHILDREN:

1. It can destroy their confidence.
Children need encouragement and guidance. Constant insults and negative declarations can make them believe they are not good enough.

2. It can create fear and insecurity.
A child who is constantly threatened or cursed may become afraid of making mistakes, expressing themselves, or trying new things.

3. It can damage the parent-child relationship.
Instead of seeing the parent as a source of love and protection, the child may grow resentful, distant, or bitter.

4. It can affect their emotional well-being.
Repeated humiliation, rejection, and negative words can contribute to sadness, anxiety, low self-worth, and emotional distress.

5. It can influence how they see themselves.
Children often believe what the people closest to them repeatedly tell them. Speak to the potential you want them to develop—not the failure you fear.

6. It can teach them to use hurtful words themselves.
Children learn from what they experience. If they grow up hearing curses and insults, they may eventually speak to others in the same way.

CORRECT YOUR CHILDREN, BUT DON’T DESTROY THEM.

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Discipline is necessary, but discipline should teach—not humiliate. Correct their mistakes, set boundaries, explain consequences, and show them how to do better.

The Bible says:

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”
— Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)

And:

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
— Ephesians 6:4 (KJV)

Your child may make mistakes today, but that does not mean their future is ruined.

Don’t curse your children. Correct them with wisdom. Pray for them. Encourage them. Bless them. Speak words that build their character, strengthen their confidence, and remind them that they are loved.

YOUR WORDS CAN LEAVE A SCAR OR BUILD A FUTURE.
CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY.

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