Tosin Odunlami, a Nigerian-born intersex advocate, has opened up about his journey of self-discovery, transition, and his ongoing fight to promote intersex visibility and inclusion in Nigeria.
In an interview released on Friday by The Podcast Network, Odunlami reflected on his childhood, his experience living 25 years as a female, and the challenges of navigating identity in a society that often misunderstands intersex persons.
Intersex is a term used to describe people who are born with physical or biological traits, such as chromosomes, hormones, or reproductive organs, that don’t fit the typical definitions of male or female bodies.
According to a landmark study by biologist Dr Anne Fausto-Sterling (2000) of Brown University, up to 1.7% of the global population is born with intersex traits.
However, later research by Dr Leonard Sax (2002) published in the Journal of Sex Research estimated a narrower range of about 0.018%, depending on which medical conditions are classified as intersex.
Despite these variations, both studies affirm that intersex variations are a natural part of human diversity, not disorders or abnormalities, a position also supported by the United Nations Free & Equal campaign (2019) and the World Health Organisation (WHO, 2022).
Tosin began by clarifying common misconceptions about gender identity. “Intersex persons are not transgender. Neither are they gay or lesbian,” he said. “Intersex means being born with biological variations, it could be internal, chromosomal, or genital.”
“It’s a privilege for me to speak about my experience. I discovered that I’m an intersex person at age 25. Basically, I lived all my life for 25 years as a female, and it wasn’t eas,” he said.
When asked whether he is medically capable of reproduction, Tosin confirmed that he can reproduce as a man, “Yes, because I’ve done some examinations.”
Born and raised in Nigeria, Odunlami recounted growing up under societal pressure to conform to the gender assigned at birth.
“You have to behave in the female way, And if you’re not doing all of that, the society and the community start looking at you in a certain way.”
He revealed that during puberty, he noticed bodily changes that made him question his identity, but fear and stigma kept him silent.
“I started seeing some changes in my body, and I was scared. I couldn’t talk to anyone because when you tell them this is what you’re seeing in your body, they decide to discriminate or tell you you’re taboo,” he said.
Odunlami shared how his mother discovered his condition and sought medical help. However, the doctors themselves were confused.
“The doctor did not even know who I am. They tried to confirm me to their ascribed gender and said they had to do surgery to cut off what they were seeing,” he recounted.
He described how his mother rejected the risky surgical option and instead turned to religious interventions.
“My mom took me to several churches; they gave me soaps and prayers, just to make me grow breasts,” he said, recalling years of internal struggle and isolation.
At university, he continued to live as a woman but in secrecy. “I lived with two females in the same room, and when we were dressing up, I shifted myself to the corner. I wore padded bras because I wanted to fit in,” he said.
Odunlami’s transition came after a medical consultation confirmed that his hormones were predominantly male.
“The doctor said my hormones are more male hormones. That was when I told the doctor, ‘Okay, I think I’m going to come to the male gender,’” he explained.
Speaking on how people reacted to his transition, he said, “Some were surprised, some were supportive, and some are still anxious about it. But I’m always open to share with them.”
On his sexual orientation, Odunlami said he is attracted to females. “I’m attracted to women, emotionally, mentally, and physically,” he said, clarifying that being intersex does not define his sexuality.
Speaking about his church community, he revealed how he came out to his pastor and congregation: “On a Sunday, he said I should come out and you know, it’s also a form of advocacy — educating people, mothers, adults, youths on all of this.”
He continued, “Although it was a shock to them, they were like, ‘No, Sister Esther?’ Because then I was ascribed a female gender, so my first name is Esther. They were saying, ‘What? Sister Esther? Are you a trans? Are you gay?’ They didn’t really understand the whole situation, even after I shared with them that this is me, I’m an intersex person.”
He added that although some members initially distanced themselves, others eventually accepted him.
“Some were like, ‘Don’t near my female daughter,’ and I was a children’s teacher, so I had to step back to see how they received the information. But later they were all open arms, they received me back, and I started teaching again.”
When asked whether being intersex makes one a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, Tosin clarified that intersex persons form part of the wider group while maintaining their distinct identity.
“The ‘I’ in the LGBTQIA, that’s intersex,” Tosin explained. “We can stand alone, and as well we cannot stand alone. We are part of the community because we work together in different ways, for programming, advocacy, and education. Sometimes, Intersex Nura even educates the LGBT community. So we are a community of one.”
Tosin, however, noted that being intersex does not automatically determine sexual orientation, “An intersex person does not necessarily identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual,” they said. “All of that does not necessarily apply.”
Speaking further, Tosin said there is a growing intersex community in Nigeria that meets regularly for support and advocacy.
“We have intersex persons in different states across Nigeria. We hold monthly check-ins and community meetings. On October 26, we’ll celebrate Intersex Awareness Day, a day to celebrate our growth, resilience, and visibility,” Tosin added.
They also highlighted ongoing collaborations between Nigerian intersex advocates and global organisations, “There is international support,” Tosin noted.
“The Executive Director of Intersex Nigeria, Obioma, is part of the Intersex Alliance Movement globally, working to advance advocacy and programming. We also receive funding and support from international organisations for our work here in Nigeria.”
Reflecting on faith and acceptance, he described how his church community ultimately responded positively. “I had this peace, that I am living my full self,” he said.
Now an active intersex advocate, Odunlami continues to champion inclusion and awareness through public speaking and advocacy efforts. “It’s not a disability,” he affirmed again. “I’m a normal person like every other person.”
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