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Dad told us ‘I’m going home’ hours before his death – Late Kola Oyewo ’s son

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Oluwatobi Oyewo is the youngest of the five sons of legendary actor, scholar and cultural icon, Kola Oyewo, who died on Friday aged 80. In this interview with WALE AKINSELURE, Oluwatobi recounts his father’s final moments and values that defined his life and legacy

Tell us about the final moments before your dad’s death…

He passed on Friday at about 6:30pm. Two days before he died, he had been talking in a way that was mysterious. He was speaking in parables. My immediate elder brother had been in Ife for a while, taking care of him. His family stays in Ife, so he had been with them for some time. In a way, he was talking in parables as if he was ready to go. He kept telling my brother that it was sad that he would be leaving behind such good children. My eldest brother still had a video call with him on Friday morning. They joked and laughed. He was in the hospital. My brother asked Daddy if he was on his way home. He responded that, yes, he was going home. But we later realised that while my brother was talking about going back home to Ife, I think he was referring to transitioning. He was just talking in parables. Our mum is late; we lost her in 2020. There was a point when he kept mentioning her name as if she was in the vicinity. He kept saying, “Aduke, mo ti se tan o” (Aduke, I am now ready).

Your dad once disclosed that he had an enlarged prostate. Was he able to overcome it before his death on Friday?

Just as he disclosed during an interview he granted Kunle Afod, he had an enlarged prostate. He was diagnosed in 2019 and had been managing it since then. He had the first surgery, which was successful and sustained him. He was fine. In fact, he was the one who drove himself around. But we realised that towards the end of last year, his condition started deteriorating. The normal things he could do, like driving himself around, he could no longer do. Because of his age, there was no way we could have told him to undergo another surgery. The doctor even said it was a 50-50 situation, and he wasn’t convinced about having the surgery. You can’t force someone to do what he doesn’t want to do. Moreover, he acknowledged that he had fulfilled his purpose in life. There was nothing else he wanted that he hadn’t achieved. He was also happy to see all of us grow. He had been preparing. In fact, I remember when I came home in May and he couldn’t look me in the eyes. Sometimes, when our eyes met, he would just shake his head and bow it. He felt that he was leaving us and didn’t want us to be stressed. He didn’t like the fact that we had to take him to the hospital repeatedly to bring him back. My dad was a very strong person. Before this ailment and everything that followed, he had never spent a night in a hospital throughout his life. He had never been admitted. He was used to travelling from one location to another. He enjoyed driving a lot. Growing up, I remember that my dad drove almost all over the country. If you asked him how to get anywhere in Nigeria, he would tell you the route because he had travelled almost everywhere in the country. If he wasn’t driving, he was travelling around with his theatre troupe. He was used to being active and constantly on the move. It was really disheartening for him to be in that state, and he kept feeling that he was a burden to us.

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You mentioned Kunle Afod’s visit. Were there other thespians that rallied around him while he was on the sick bed?

Yes, there were other people. Some called us the children to ask about how he was faring. Of course, some couldn’t come physically, but Uncle Kunle was the one who took the bold step. I think he was doing something on his channel, visiting veteran actors one after another. He was the one who even made the whole thing public. There were other people too. Toyin Adegbola visited and called. Others always came around, visited, and called us as children to check on him. They were really supportive to the best of their ability. There’s nothing anyone can do when it’s time. I’m happy that we, the children, did our best, and he was really happy about it.

What principles guided your father’s life?

He believed strongly in hard work, responsibility and humility. That’s one thing I can say I personally learnt from him. My dad was a very humble person. He was so humble that in my parish in Ife, before old age slowed him down, he used to play the konga drum in the choir. Since his death, many of his videos have resurfaced online. What gladdens you most about his legacy? I feel proud to be associated with someone who achieved so much and was genuinely loved by people. All the comments I have been reading have been heartwarming and positive. There have been so many positive comments about him. That gladdens my heart. I feel proud to say that he was my father, even though he is no longer with us. Although, I also think about the fact that the shoes he left behind are very big ones to fill.

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Is there any of his children also involved in the arts?

My eldest brother is a lecturer in Theatre Arts, so he is partly involved in acting. My second brother also acts, mostly in television series and Africa Magic productions rather than regular home videos. Those are the two people I can say are really involved in acting. The other three of us have gone into different professions.

What were his final wishes?

The major thing he preached was humility and unity among his children. He always told us to remain united and to listen to our eldest brother because he would now serve as a father figure to us. That is Dr Wale Oyewo. He also encouraged us to remain prayerful and keep the faith. As a Catholic, he was always passionate about keeping the faith alive. I remember telling him that I had become the Parish Pastoral Council Chairman of my parish. He was really surprised and happy. Things like that thrilled him. He was always glad whenever I came home to worship in our parish and saw that I was receiving Holy Communion. He was happy that I remained part of the fold because he was a very devoted Catholic. He worshipped at St. Mary’s Catholic Church, Igboya, Ife.

How would you like him to be remembered?

I would love him to be remembered as the legend that he was. Even though he was my father and someone I could call at any time, that does not diminish the fact that he was a legend. People saw him as a mentor and someone they could always look up to. I would love him to be remembered for the impact he made, especially in academics and theatre arts.

What posthumous honour would you like Nigeria to bestow on him?

I wouldn’t know exactly. There was a time during his birthday when the President released a congratulatory message. Now, the President has also condoled with the family. I don’t know what specific honours are usually given in situations like this. Maybe the MFR or something similar. It would be really nice if he received an honour like that so that his name would remain in the history books as a great achiever.

Would you say your father lived a fulfilled life?

Yes, definitely. I would say he lived a fulfilled life because there was virtually nothing he wanted to achieve that he didn’t achieve, at least to the best of his ability, considering his humble background. In fact, he had almost no chance of making it out of our village in Osun State. Yet here he is, being celebrated, with news of his passing making headlines across the country. I was really surprised yesterday when I saw so many news organisations reporting it. I was amazed and asked myself, “Is my dad really this legendary?”

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His command of Yoruba was exceptional. Did he deliberately pass that on to his children?

Yes, he did. That’s why, despite the growing dominance of English, our Yoruba language skills remain deeply ingrained. I usually tell people that I didn’t learn English at home; I learnt it in school. My dad would never speak English to us at home. I knew how to speak Yoruba fluently from a very young age. He only spoke Yoruba to us. I can’t imagine my dad saying things like, “Sit there” or “Don’t do this” in English. If you heard my dad speaking English, it probably meant he was angry because you had done something wrong. You hardly heard him speak English. I’m sure it was the same for all my other four brothers. We are five men in total. We learnt English in school, not at home. It’s different from what we see nowadays, where many parents speak only English to their children from infancy.

But was he tempted to speak English when his grandchildren came around?

Yes, but he still tried to instil Yoruba in them. That’s why all of us have traditional names — what Yoruba people call oríkì names. I’ve never heard him call me by my given name, Tobi, except perhaps when referring to me to someone else. He would always call me by my native name, Akano. Everyone has a native name, including our wives. Once we got married, he gave each of our wives a native name. My wife even said yesterday that she hopes her native name won’t go extinct because he’s the only person who calls her Agbeke. All the grandchildren also have native names, and that’s what he called them.Whenever they were around, he tried to speak Yoruba to them rather than English.

Did he maintain a personal library or archive at home for his many works, probably it could be set aside as a historical room of some sort?

No, he didn’t have a formal library or archive. But I know where his books are. He had a lot of books on the shelves in his room. There were many books, though not what I would describe as a formal archive or library.

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Lifestyle

Woman who made husband swear for infidelity rejoices over mother-in-law’s death

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Canada-based Nigerian woman, Prophetess Ezinne Nwanorue, has stirred reactions on social media after celebrating the death of her mother-in-law, describing the deceased as a “wicked witch” in a Facebook post.

Ezinne shared the funeral poster of her late mother-in-law, Comfort Nwanorue, on Facebook on Monday.

She wrote, “One wicked witch is down: my dead mother-in-law, Comfort Chika Nwanorue, rest in pieces in hell with other dead witches; your members will soon join you. I am the weapon fashioned against all the witches and wizards and all the evil people in the world; you all shall go down in my hands. Very wicked beings.

Ezinne’s mother-in-law, Chika Nwanorue. Credit: Prophetess Ezinne Nwanorue/Facebook

“You people should repent now and accept Christ; if not, you won’t escape the judgment of de@th from my hands, in Jesus’ name. Amen. These people have dealt with me in this life; they found out about my destiny, and they did everything within their power to bring me down, but I thank God for helping me discover who I am and coming through for my destiny; I am now in my season of manifestation, and no one can stop it.

“They will all go down in my hands as God empowers and permits me, in the name of Jesus. Amen. I am talking from the place of my office as a prophetess of God Almighty. Prophetess Ezinne Maryjane Nwanorue.”

The post has since attracted mixed reactions, with many social media users criticising her for celebrating the death of a family member.

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PUNCH Online earlier reported that Ezinne and her husband, Franklin Chimaobim Nwanorue, went viral after she made his relocation to Canada conditional on him publicly swearing an oath that he would never be unfaithful to her.

According to the report, she insisted that her husband record and publish a video declaring that if he cheated on her after arriving in Canada, he should die, saying the instruction was from God.

In the viral video, Franklin accepted the condition, declaring, “I confess, and I promise that if I come to Canada and cheat on you, let me die in the name of Jesus.”

He also pledged to remain faithful to his wife and be a good husband and father to their children.

Ezinne later claimed her husband had been involved with another woman despite taking the public oath, alleging in a Facebook post that he had “still slept with one of his side chicks” after making the declaration.

Her latest Facebook post celebrating the death of her mother-in-law has brought renewed public attention to the family’s ongoing dispute.

Neither Franklin Nwanorue nor other members of the family had publicly responded to Ezinne’s latest post as of the time of filing this report.

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‘Don’t dig anything less than gold’ – Actress Bukky Wright tells ladies

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Veteran Nollywood actress, Bukky Wright, has urged ladies not to be ashamed of making financial demands in relationships or have high tastes in men.

Speaking in a recent episode of The Moraya Show, Wright criticised what she described as men’s hypocrisy in tagging and shaming women who make demands or have high tastes as “gold diggers.”

According to her, there is nothing wrong with being a gold digger. She advised young ladies not to settle for anything less than gold.

The actress urged men to only go for women they can “afford” to avoid blackmailing other women, who make demands above their paychecks.

“I hate it when I hear men calling women Gold diggers. What do you expect her to dig before? I won’t advise any woman to dig anything less than gold.

“If you can not afford a woman, don’t go for it. Go for the one you can afford,” she said.

“I remember when I was growing up, we would not date our age mates because what can you offer?

“As a man, if you are dating somebody that her level is higher up, then you are in trouble. That is why I said cut your clothes according to your materials,” the actress added.

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Divorced mother shares benefits she’s enjoying now that she did not enjoy when she was married

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A divorced mother has shared the benefits she’s enjoying as a divorcee.

Chinonso Onuoha, a Nigerian woman who lives in Germany and is divorced from her husband, had previously written about leaving a marriage that was allegedly abusive and toxic.

Now, she has shared things she claims she is enjoying as a divorcee that she did not enjoy when married.

She wrote: “Men swear divorced women are bitter and frustrated.

“I’m sorry to break it to you that life after divorce is actually maravilloso,especially if you have money.

“Imagine living life without your abuser, whom you were obligated to serve and worship.

“The house becomes peaceful and quiet.

“For someone like me who hates cooking, no more cooking.

“Cooking with garlic because his sidechick can no longer dictate the spices I use.

“No more being constantly criticized and yelled at.

“REST. I wasn’t allowed to rest. I was cleaning, ironing, and cooking round the clock.

“No more nagging and hitting me.

“Enjoying my children.

“Sleeping peacefully. Nobody waking me up in the middle of the night to accuse me of cheating, while he’s the one cheating.

“Watching TV shows I like it or watching TV in general.

“Nobody coming home to beat me because they fought with their side chick.

“Not constantly fearing I’ll contract STI’s because, as his wife, I’m expected to have unprotected sex with a cheating husband.

“No more living in constant fear or walking on eggshells.

“No more feeling drained and aging.

“No more being surrounded by his friends who knew about all his cheating and escapades but kept quiet.

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“Sleeping peacefully without anyone snoring beside you. (I can’t relate to this one because I shared a room with my kids.)

“No longer living in constant fear of losing your life.

“Please, don’t threaten me with a good time.

“Men will tell themselves anything to be happy.

“If divorced women are so miserable and desperate to get their exes back, why do divorced men rush into marriages?

“Food is ready koromoto men.

“#saynotodomesticviolence #SpeakUp #narcisticabuse”

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