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Dad told us ‘I’m going home’ hours before his death – Late Kola Oyewo ’s son

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Oluwatobi Oyewo is the youngest of the five sons of legendary actor, scholar and cultural icon, Kola Oyewo, who died on Friday aged 80. In this interview with WALE AKINSELURE, Oluwatobi recounts his father’s final moments and values that defined his life and legacy

Tell us about the final moments before your dad’s death…

He passed on Friday at about 6:30pm. Two days before he died, he had been talking in a way that was mysterious. He was speaking in parables. My immediate elder brother had been in Ife for a while, taking care of him. His family stays in Ife, so he had been with them for some time. In a way, he was talking in parables as if he was ready to go. He kept telling my brother that it was sad that he would be leaving behind such good children. My eldest brother still had a video call with him on Friday morning. They joked and laughed. He was in the hospital. My brother asked Daddy if he was on his way home. He responded that, yes, he was going home. But we later realised that while my brother was talking about going back home to Ife, I think he was referring to transitioning. He was just talking in parables. Our mum is late; we lost her in 2020. There was a point when he kept mentioning her name as if she was in the vicinity. He kept saying, “Aduke, mo ti se tan o” (Aduke, I am now ready).

Your dad once disclosed that he had an enlarged prostate. Was he able to overcome it before his death on Friday?

Just as he disclosed during an interview he granted Kunle Afod, he had an enlarged prostate. He was diagnosed in 2019 and had been managing it since then. He had the first surgery, which was successful and sustained him. He was fine. In fact, he was the one who drove himself around. But we realised that towards the end of last year, his condition started deteriorating. The normal things he could do, like driving himself around, he could no longer do. Because of his age, there was no way we could have told him to undergo another surgery. The doctor even said it was a 50-50 situation, and he wasn’t convinced about having the surgery. You can’t force someone to do what he doesn’t want to do. Moreover, he acknowledged that he had fulfilled his purpose in life. There was nothing else he wanted that he hadn’t achieved. He was also happy to see all of us grow. He had been preparing. In fact, I remember when I came home in May and he couldn’t look me in the eyes. Sometimes, when our eyes met, he would just shake his head and bow it. He felt that he was leaving us and didn’t want us to be stressed. He didn’t like the fact that we had to take him to the hospital repeatedly to bring him back. My dad was a very strong person. Before this ailment and everything that followed, he had never spent a night in a hospital throughout his life. He had never been admitted. He was used to travelling from one location to another. He enjoyed driving a lot. Growing up, I remember that my dad drove almost all over the country. If you asked him how to get anywhere in Nigeria, he would tell you the route because he had travelled almost everywhere in the country. If he wasn’t driving, he was travelling around with his theatre troupe. He was used to being active and constantly on the move. It was really disheartening for him to be in that state, and he kept feeling that he was a burden to us.

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You mentioned Kunle Afod’s visit. Were there other thespians that rallied around him while he was on the sick bed?

Yes, there were other people. Some called us the children to ask about how he was faring. Of course, some couldn’t come physically, but Uncle Kunle was the one who took the bold step. I think he was doing something on his channel, visiting veteran actors one after another. He was the one who even made the whole thing public. There were other people too. Toyin Adegbola visited and called. Others always came around, visited, and called us as children to check on him. They were really supportive to the best of their ability. There’s nothing anyone can do when it’s time. I’m happy that we, the children, did our best, and he was really happy about it.

What principles guided your father’s life?

He believed strongly in hard work, responsibility and humility. That’s one thing I can say I personally learnt from him. My dad was a very humble person. He was so humble that in my parish in Ife, before old age slowed him down, he used to play the konga drum in the choir. Since his death, many of his videos have resurfaced online. What gladdens you most about his legacy? I feel proud to be associated with someone who achieved so much and was genuinely loved by people. All the comments I have been reading have been heartwarming and positive. There have been so many positive comments about him. That gladdens my heart. I feel proud to say that he was my father, even though he is no longer with us. Although, I also think about the fact that the shoes he left behind are very big ones to fill.

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Is there any of his children also involved in the arts?

My eldest brother is a lecturer in Theatre Arts, so he is partly involved in acting. My second brother also acts, mostly in television series and Africa Magic productions rather than regular home videos. Those are the two people I can say are really involved in acting. The other three of us have gone into different professions.

What were his final wishes?

The major thing he preached was humility and unity among his children. He always told us to remain united and to listen to our eldest brother because he would now serve as a father figure to us. That is Dr Wale Oyewo. He also encouraged us to remain prayerful and keep the faith. As a Catholic, he was always passionate about keeping the faith alive. I remember telling him that I had become the Parish Pastoral Council Chairman of my parish. He was really surprised and happy. Things like that thrilled him. He was always glad whenever I came home to worship in our parish and saw that I was receiving Holy Communion. He was happy that I remained part of the fold because he was a very devoted Catholic. He worshipped at St. Mary’s Catholic Church, Igboya, Ife.

How would you like him to be remembered?

I would love him to be remembered as the legend that he was. Even though he was my father and someone I could call at any time, that does not diminish the fact that he was a legend. People saw him as a mentor and someone they could always look up to. I would love him to be remembered for the impact he made, especially in academics and theatre arts.

What posthumous honour would you like Nigeria to bestow on him?

I wouldn’t know exactly. There was a time during his birthday when the President released a congratulatory message. Now, the President has also condoled with the family. I don’t know what specific honours are usually given in situations like this. Maybe the MFR or something similar. It would be really nice if he received an honour like that so that his name would remain in the history books as a great achiever.

Would you say your father lived a fulfilled life?

Yes, definitely. I would say he lived a fulfilled life because there was virtually nothing he wanted to achieve that he didn’t achieve, at least to the best of his ability, considering his humble background. In fact, he had almost no chance of making it out of our village in Osun State. Yet here he is, being celebrated, with news of his passing making headlines across the country. I was really surprised yesterday when I saw so many news organisations reporting it. I was amazed and asked myself, “Is my dad really this legendary?”

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His command of Yoruba was exceptional. Did he deliberately pass that on to his children?

Yes, he did. That’s why, despite the growing dominance of English, our Yoruba language skills remain deeply ingrained. I usually tell people that I didn’t learn English at home; I learnt it in school. My dad would never speak English to us at home. I knew how to speak Yoruba fluently from a very young age. He only spoke Yoruba to us. I can’t imagine my dad saying things like, “Sit there” or “Don’t do this” in English. If you heard my dad speaking English, it probably meant he was angry because you had done something wrong. You hardly heard him speak English. I’m sure it was the same for all my other four brothers. We are five men in total. We learnt English in school, not at home. It’s different from what we see nowadays, where many parents speak only English to their children from infancy.

But was he tempted to speak English when his grandchildren came around?

Yes, but he still tried to instil Yoruba in them. That’s why all of us have traditional names — what Yoruba people call oríkì names. I’ve never heard him call me by my given name, Tobi, except perhaps when referring to me to someone else. He would always call me by my native name, Akano. Everyone has a native name, including our wives. Once we got married, he gave each of our wives a native name. My wife even said yesterday that she hopes her native name won’t go extinct because he’s the only person who calls her Agbeke. All the grandchildren also have native names, and that’s what he called them.Whenever they were around, he tried to speak Yoruba to them rather than English.

Did he maintain a personal library or archive at home for his many works, probably it could be set aside as a historical room of some sort?

No, he didn’t have a formal library or archive. But I know where his books are. He had a lot of books on the shelves in his room. There were many books, though not what I would describe as a formal archive or library.

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‘I have cancer,’ Nollywood actress Cynthia Anijekwu cries, calls for support

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Nollywood actress Cynthia Anijekwu has made an emotional appeal to Nigerians for financial assistance after revealing that she is battling cancer for the second time.

In a video circulating on social media on Tuesday, the actress disclosed that she was first diagnosed with cancer in 2023, when she underwent surgery followed by chemotherapy in a bid to halt the disease.

She maintained that doctors initially managed the condition after the treatment, but the cancer later returned and has since spread to her bones, requiring more intensive care, including radiation therapy and another surgery.

According to Anijekwu, recent medical examinations revealed that the cancer has spread to her bones, significantly increasing the cost and complexity of her treatment up to N600,000 every month.

The actress said doctors have recommended radiation therapy and another surgery as part of her ongoing care.

“I have cancer in 2023 (sic). I did my surgery and took chemotherapy, but later it came back again. I’ve been in and out of the hospital. The doctor recently told me it has reached my bones, and the treatment is now much more expensive,” she said.

“I need to live. I need to survive. I’m asking Nigerians to please help me. Anyone that can help, please, I need help. Even my hands have swollen. The cancer has affected both breasts. I need to live. Please help me. I need to survive.

“Your one naira, your two naira can add up to something reasonable for me to get the proper treatment for this cancer. I’m begging you, please help me,” she pleaded.

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Before her health challenge became public, Anijekwu built her career in Nollywood, featuring in several English- and Igbo-language productions.

However, there is no publicly verifiable record identifying a major blockbuster film or comprehensive filmography associated with the actress, as public attention has largely shifted to her battle with cancer in recent years.

The actress said the financial burden has become overwhelming for her family, prompting her to seek help from members of the public.

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It’s not easy, surrogate mother shares emotional journey

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A masked Nigerian surrogate mother has opened up about how financial hardship and what she described as an irresponsible partner led her to become a surrogate, saying the decision came after the loss of her second child.

The woman disclosed this during a new episode on Cruise TV published on YouTube on Sunday, where she recounted the emotional, financial and psychological realities of carrying children for other families.

She said becoming a surrogate was one of the hardest decisions she had ever made, describing the emotional attachment that develops during pregnancy despite knowing the child does not belong to her.

“Emotionally it’s not easy. Even when I started the journey, when the pregnancy was three months, I called my nurse that I don’t think I can cope again because it’s not easy to carry what is not yours.

“When you start having the emotional attachment, you keep reminding yourself that this is not mine. I tell myself it is a job, and that helps me cope, but the emotions still come and go.”

The woman explained that she became a gestational surrogate through IVF, meaning she had no biological connection to the babies she carried.

Speaking on what pushed her into surrogacy, she said her partner failed to provide for the family despite her efforts to support them.

“I had my first child. Unfortunately, my husband is not the person that is hardworking and he doesn’t take responsibility. I do work. There is no work I cannot do.

“When I became pregnant the second time, I could no longer work. We couldn’t even afford hospital bills.”

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She said complications during the pregnancy eventually led to the death of the baby, an experience that changed her outlook.

“That baby died, and that was the reason I made that decision. Instead of giving him another baby, I would rather help people who have the money to take care of me.

“If you don’t have the money to care for my health, I won’t do it for you.”

She disclosed that she initially declined financial compensation beyond medical care, accommodation and allowances, a decision she now regrets.

“I told them I didn’t want any compensation aside from the process, monthly allowance, wardrobe allowance and accommodation fee, but that was a mistake.

“I won’t do it again,” she said.

The surrogate mother also said she would not encourage her daughter to follow the same path because of the emotional and health risks involved.

“I cannot advise my daughter to be a surrogate.”

She added that she relocated during one of her pregnancies to avoid stigma and often told people the baby had died whenever they asked questions.

According to her, surrogate mothers also face psychological challenges after delivery despite undergoing counselling before and after childbirth.

While acknowledging that surrogacy has helped many couples struggling with infertility, she maintained that the process is far more demanding than many people realise.

“Surrogacy is not as simple as people think.”

She called for stronger regulation of the practice to protect surrogate mothers from exploitation and ensure adequate emotional and financial support.

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I waited 18 years before welcoming twins – Nollywood star Ricardo Agbor

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Veteran Nollywood actor, Ricardo Agbor, has opened up about his 18-year journey to parenthood, revealing that he and his wife waited nearly two decades before welcoming their twins.

The actor disclosed this during an interview with AfricanAList published on Sunday, where he reflected on his marriage, faith and the challenges he faced before becoming a father.

Agbor said he remained committed to his wife throughout the period, despite the long wait for children.

“I wanted to get married to a particular lady; I married her regardless of where she is from. She is not from my tribe. So ordinarily, we were supposed to have strife; no, it was very fair,” he said.

Speaking about the couple’s struggle with childlessness, the actor said he specifically prayed for twins and refused to give up despite waiting for 18 years.

“It took 18 years for me to have the twins. And I waited. God knows, 18 years and they are 14 now, so I told God I wanted twins.

“So while that wait was on, if it were someone else, he would cross. But at the end of the day, I have twins. I have a boy and a girl. I asked God what I wanted,” he added.

Agbor also recounted what he described as the most painful experience of his life — the death of his mother.

According to him, she had been receiving treatment for about three weeks without any improvement before doctors advised that she should be flown to South Africa for further medical care.

The actor said his mother requested to be moved to another private hospital in Surulere, but she died in his arms while he was helping her into the car.

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“My mom died right in my arms. At the hospital, they were bringing almost 10 doctors to do tests… the sickness was not improving after almost three weeks.

“It was after three weeks that they told me to come and carry my mom and take her to South Africa. I took my mom away and took her to another private hospital within Surulere. It was my mom that told me to take her away from that place. As I was carrying her into the car, she gave up,” he said.

Agbor said the loss left him devastated, noting that it was the first time he had cried outside acting.

“I think that was the first time I cried in my life. I don’t cry. If I cry, maybe it is in a movie and it is a role. So I cried. It was painful,” he added.

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