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How we waited for 31 years before having our first child – Couple

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Laundry Manager at Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries, Prayer City, Mrs Kemi Omotinugbon, who welcomed her first child at the age of 56 after 31 years of marriage, shares with GRACE EDEMA how she overcame the trying periods

What do you do and how old are you?

I work at MFM Prayer City as a laundry manager. I am 57 years old. I was born on July 13, 1968.

When did you get married?

I got married in 1994.

When you got married in 1994, like most couples, you probably expected to have a child within a year or two. At what point did you realise there was a challenge with getting pregnant?

We realised it was a challenge about five years into the marriage.

What did you do after discovering that?

We started by praying. After that, we sought medical treatment and saw a doctor for possible solutions.

Was there any specific medical issue that was diagnosed?

No.

Did you try IVF at any point?

Yes, we did.

How many times?

We tried twice, as I mentioned in my testimony.

Did any of the attempts result in pregnancy?

No, they both failed, but we persisted in prayer and kept believing God. Whatever treatment or medication was required, we took it, and we continued trusting God. In His infinite mercy, God answered us.

That is why we are here today, thanking Him for what only He can do. This can only be God. It surpasses human imagination. It is purely God’s intervention.

How did you discover you were pregnant?

I was seeing a doctor at the time. When I began noticing some changes in my body, they ran some tests. It was through those tests that I discovered I was pregnant.

What year was that?

That was in May 2024.

Was it a natural delivery?

No, it was a Caesarean section because of my age.

Was the conception natural, or was there any medical procedure involved?

It was a natural conception. There were no injections or assisted procedures involved.

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I want you to share your experience during the waiting period. How was the waiting period of over 30 years?

The waiting period was very challenging. It was a mixture of pain and occasional joy. Sometimes, when people know you do not have a child, they react to you differently. Some may not fully accept you, even within family or friendship circles.

Not everyone understands what it means to wait. There were painful experiences, and I had to deliberately cast them behind me so they would not affect my focus. At a point, I was dwelling on the situation too much, but later I received the wisdom to ignore the distractions. I had to put them behind me.

When some people later heard that I had put to bed, they said, ‘Ah, so she had been passing through that challenge? We didn’t even know.’ Many people did not know because, after some time, I stopped talking about it.

When people would ask, ‘How are your children?’ I would respond politely, but when I returned to my place of prayer, I would say, ‘God, they are asking You, where are these children? Let these children manifest. Let them not be far away from us again.’ That became my regular confession.

The journey was not easy, but I enjoyed the grace of God throughout. Eventually, His power was made manifest. I cannot point to any particular experience now that still makes me feel bitter.

However, I remember moments when I thought, ‘If I had my own child, this wouldn’t have happened.’ For example, there were times I sent another person’s daughter on an errand, and the mother refused to allow her to go. That was painful.

At one point, some children were visiting us, and their mother later suggested they were not well taken care of. That hurt deeply because I had done my best for them.

However, each painful experience drove me back to God. I would say, ‘Lord, only You can do this.’

There were moments I did not even know how it would happen anymore. I simply held on to God’s promise that I would not fail. That assurance sustained me.

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Some of my friends later reminded me that during our conversations, I always told them that no matter how long it took, I would have my own child. I may not remember saying it, but two of them confirmed it.

In the end, the entire experience has been God-centred. God knew about it all along. His name alone deserves to be praised and glorified.

How did you go through all these and still remain psychologically strong?

Before I talk about how it feels now, let me add this: in such a situation, there are times you honestly do not know what to do. Sometimes, you lose interest in many things — even in going out or associating with people.

I remember one day, I saw a friend at a shopping mall. She didn’t see me, but I saw her — and I carefully dodged her. I avoided her because I didn’t want her to ask, ‘Where are your children?’ and start the conversation all over again. I didn’t want to explain anything. So I made sure she didn’t see me. That was one of the experiences I had.

At times, you become disinterested in outings because people will ask about your children. In our community, especially in the Black community, not having a child can come with stigma. You feel stigmatised. That was part of the experience.

On the other hand, I also had people who supported me throughout the journey — people who believed that since God had promised, it would surely happen.

Now that the baby has come, my interest in doing many things has been awakened. I feel more motivated. There is something pushing you, something more meaningful to live for.

What other painful experience did you endure?

There was another painful experience. Someone once asked me to give him money. I said I didn’t have any. He told me to go and bring my ATM card and then said, ‘What are you even using your money for?’ That day, I really felt hurt. I wondered, ‘Why would this person say that? Is it because I don’t have a child?’

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When I told my husband, he asked how I responded. I said I didn’t reply; I just looked at the person. My husband himself also had experiences — comments that could easily demoralise someone. But we thank God. Only God’s name can be glorified. This can only be God.

Do you think it was just divine intervention or medications that helped you?

Even if you go through treatments, unless God permits them to work, they will not work. That is the truth. So, I give Him all the glory.

How did you handle your in-laws who couldn’t wait any longer for you to have a child?

I tried not to overreact. I understood that they, too, might be anxious.

Sometimes, the pain comes from general comments people make without realising how hurtful they are — not necessarily from in-laws alone. We did not have fights.

They didn’t fight me, and I didn’t fight them.

What would you like to say to other women who have been married for five, 10, or even 15 years without a child?

What I would like to say to anyone trusting God for the fruit of the womb is this: please look unto God. Be steadfast and remain focused.

At the same time, do the needful. If you need medical treatment, seek treatment. If you need to interact with people and maintain healthy relationships, do so. Do not dwell too much on the pain — even though the pain can be overwhelming. Instead, dwell on the Word of God. Focus on His promises.

I also want to say that God greatly used Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries to bless me. I have been deeply involved in the prayer life, counselling sessions, and the teaching of the Word at MFM. I joined MFM in 1998, four years after I got married.

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Lifestyle

Catholic bishops’ inconvenient truth

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Politics and religion often conflate into a toxic brew. So, it is with the storm over John Onaiyekan’s comments after the recent meeting between President Bola Tinubu and the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of Nigeria. As the waves billow and swell, the encounter opens a window into the tremors in government rather than the cardinal’s intentions.

Instead of treating the bishops’ observations as sincere moral feedback from a respected institution, some of the administration’s vocal defenders responded with personal attacks, accusing the cardinal of partisanship and abuse of clerical privilege.

That reaction was unfortunate and avoidable.

No elected government claiming democratic credentials should treat independent criticism as hostility.

Yet the ferocious responses from the Minister of the FCT, Nyesom Wike; the President’s Special Adviser on Policy Communication, Daniel Bwala; and the SSA on Media, Temitope Ajayi, suggested Onaiyekan had committed a grave offence by saying the bishops told the President Nigeria was “bleeding,” that poverty was worsening, and many were struggling under economic reforms.

The cardinal’s fault was not fabricating facts but speaking publicly about an uncomfortable conversation.

He said the President disagreed, insisting the economy was improving and reforms were laying the foundation for recovery.

The bishops, he said, neither expected agreement nor sought to embarrass the President; they were discharging a moral duty to tell him what many Nigerians could not.

That should have ended the matter. Instead, critics turned a healthy exchange into a public quarrel. Bwala questioned the cardinal’s neutrality, alleging the church supported Peter Obi in 2023.

Ajayi dismissed the bishops as offering only one perspective. Wike argued that having taken sides in a past election disqualified the cardinal from impartiality and faulted the bishops for questioning INEC’s neutrality ahead of 2027 without stronger proof.

These points merit consideration. Religious leaders, like journalists and civil society actors, should aim for fairness as credibility rests on intellectual honesty. Achievements by government should be acknowledged. But fairness works both ways.

The administration’s defenders owe Nigerians an honest engagement with the bishops’ substance rather than attempts to discredit the messengers.

Who the cardinal voted for is irrelevant to whether millions of Nigerians are suffering. Hunger and inflation do not check party membership before striking families.

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One of the weakest responses to public criticism is to attack motives while avoiding the issues raised. That strategy failed to convince many Nigerians. Therefore, it is no surprise that support for Onaiyekan flowed from across civic space.

The Northern Youth Council said he reflected lived realities; the Middle Belt Forum called the attacks unfair; the Catholic Laity Council defended the church’s pastoral duty to speak for the vulnerable.

Former governor and minister Rotimi Amaechi, himself a Catholic, reminded the Presidency that bishops have every right to criticise governments and urged responses based on evidence, not indignation.

Even Orji Kalu, APC senator and former Abia State governor, threatened to resign from the party if the bishops were insulted, noting their similar interventions across Africa.

The public backlash appears to have prompted moderation. Secretary to the Government of the Federation, George Akume, reaffirmed the administration’s respect for the Catholic Church and promised deeper consultations.

That is the mature response expected of a confident government, and it should have been the first instinct.

The episode exposes a deeper problem.

With the 2027 elections on the horizon, there is a growing tendency in official circles to interpret every criticism through a partisan lens.

Independent institutions that refuse to sing from the government’s hymn book risk being branded hostile. Such defensiveness serves neither democracy nor good governance.

Onaiyekan’s sharper point was that too many people around the President paint an overly rosy picture of the country. Whether entirely fair, the observation highlights a real danger that administrations insulated by courtiers and loyalists risk mistaking praise for patriotism.

Presidents need more than briefings, official statistics and flattering presentations. They need uncomfortable truths from independent voices including economists, labour unions, journalists, business leaders, traditional rulers and religious organisations.

Governments that refuse to listen lose touch with the people they govern. That is why criticism is not the enemy of reform; silence is.

The Tinubu administration can rightly argue it inherited an economy in deep distress and that difficult choices were necessary. Removing the petrol subsidy and liberalising the foreign exchange market were politically costly but, many economists agree, economically inevitable.

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The government has expanded fiscal space for states, created NELFUND, launched youth initiatives, and helped end the destructive cycle of prolonged ASUU strikes. These are notable achievements and deserve acknowledgement.

But governments are judged by citizens’ lived realities, not only by economic theory or improving macro indicators.

Foreign reserves have strengthened to $52 billion from about $3 billion, fiscal revenues rose to all-time highs, and the naira exchange rate has stabilised compared with the immediate post-reform shock.

Yet these gains have not delivered meaningful relief for the average Nigerian. Inflation remains punishing at over 15 per cent and above 37 per cent in at least 10 states; food and transport costs are soaring; healthcare and medication are costly; electricity tariffs and rent have escalated; small businesses struggle with high energy costs and expensive credit.

For too many families, over 70 per cent of income is spent on feeding alone. Multidimensional poverty affects 63 per cent of Nigerians, per the World Bank.

The bishops sought to communicate that reality. It cannot be dismissed by citing encouraging macro trends.

The reforms are also incomplete. A parallel foreign-exchange market persists, reflecting distortions and weak confidence.

Oil production remains below projections. Domestic refiners complain of inadequate crude supply even as the government extends Project Gazelle with a new $4.5 billion refinancing, raising concerns about future crude commitments while local refining capacity is planned to double.

External debt keeps rising, increasing exchange-rate exposure and debt-service obligations, which already consume half of revenues.

Terrorism, banditry and kidnapping continue to terrorise large swathes of the country, driving farmers from fertile lands and worsening food inflation.

Official and independent reports indicate that more than 628,000 people have been killed and over 2.2 million abducted since 2023, according to a BusinessDay report in June.

These are measurable national realities, not opposition talking points. Governments need independent voices to speak honestly about them.  No pushback can erase the fact that Nigeria is bleeding.

The Catholic Church has a long history of such moral witness. During military rule, bishops such as Olubunmi Okogie, an Emeritus Cardinal, condemned authoritarianism, corruption and human-rights abuses.

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Under democratic governments, the church continued to criticise administrations across the political spectrum over insecurity, governance failures and human suffering. Its loyalty has been to moral principles, not to any party.

Tinubu should not regard himself as uniquely persecuted, nor should his supporters mistake clerical witness for partisan politics.

Religious leaders are, firstly, citizens. They bury terrorism victims, counsel unemployed graduates, comfort widows and feed hungry families. If such leaders cannot speak about poverty, insecurity and governance, democracy becomes a farce.

Political parties are also inconsistent. Many who now defend petrol subsidy removal opposed it when it was proposed under President Goodluck Jonathan. Those who benefited from the freedom to criticise must not deny others the same liberty when roles reverse.

One of the most perilous governance tendencies is believing that criticism weakens government. On the contrary, governments make worse mistakes when they become prisoners of official optimism.

They need independent feedback to test whether policies yield intended outcomes. Economic models and official reports are necessary but insufficient; they must be complemented by honest input from labour, business, academia, the media, civil society and faith leaders. Without it, governments risk governing statistical abstractions rather than human realities.

It is encouraging that the administration now appears to be recalibrating. Akume’s pledge of deeper engagement deserves commendation.

Consultation, not confrontation, marks mature democratic leadership. The Presidency gains nothing by quarrelling with institutions focused on the country’s welfare.

Tinubu has often said he welcomes constructive criticism. He insisted that he sought the job and should not be pitied. This episode is a chance to prove it.

Labelling respected clerics as partisan for voicing uncomfortable truths suggests the administration may lack confidence in the transformative power of its own reforms. That is diminishing.

Nigeria’s problems are too serious for official defensiveness. Reform is a journey requiring constant feedback. The bishops fulfilled their civic and moral duty. The Presidency must perform its constitutional role by listening, not by silencing dissent.

Source: punchng.com

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Lifestyle

LACK OF TRUST IN MARRIAGE

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A marriage can survive difficult times, financial struggles, and disagreements—but when trust disappears, the relationship begins to lose its foundation.

When a husband no longer trusts his wife, or a wife no longer trusts her husband, even innocent actions can become suspicious. A simple phone call becomes a question. Coming home late becomes an accusation. A private conversation becomes a source of fear and jealousy.

Lack of trust creates emotional distance.

It produces constant suspicion, arguments, insecurity, resentment, and sometimes secretive behaviour. Instead of feeling safe with each other, couples begin to feel like enemies living under the same roof.

Trust is not built by controlling your spouse, checking their phone every minute, or constantly demanding explanations. Trust is built through honesty, faithfulness, transparency, consistency, and keeping your word.

If trust has been broken, don’t pretend everything is fine. Talk about it. Admit mistakes. Forgive where possible. Set healthy boundaries. And be willing to rebuild what has been damaged.

Remember: love may bring two people together, but trust helps keep them together.

💔 Don’t allow suspicion to destroy what communication and honesty can repair.

BUILD TRUST. BE FAITHFUL. BE HONEST. PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE.

“Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour.”
— Ephesians 4:25 (KJV)

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Lifestyle

LACK OF OPENNESS IN MARRIAGE

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A marriage can look beautiful on the outside and still be struggling on the inside when there is no openness between husband and wife.

When couples stop communicating honestly, keep secrets, hide their feelings, or are afraid to discuss important issues, emotional distance begins to grow. What starts as “I don’t want to cause a problem” can eventually become mistrust, resentment, loneliness, and constant misunderstanding.

Openness does not mean telling your spouse everything in a hurtful or careless way. It means creating a safe relationship where both partners can honestly talk about their feelings, concerns, mistakes, finances, expectations, struggles, and dreams without fear of unnecessary humiliation or condemnation.

A strong marriage requires:

• Honest communication — Talk about problems instead of allowing them to grow in silence.
• Trust and transparency — Avoid unnecessary secrecy that can damage confidence in the relationship.
• Active listening — Listen to understand, not simply to respond or attack.
• Emotional vulnerability — Let your spouse know when you are hurting, worried, disappointed, or afraid.
• Respect — Honesty should never become an excuse for insults, threats, or emotional abuse.
• Forgiveness — When mistakes are acknowledged, work together toward healing and restoration.

The Bible says:

“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” — Proverbs 11:14 (KJV)

And:

“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” — James 1:19 (KJV)

Marriage should be a place where two people can feel safe enough to communicate, honest enough to admit their weaknesses, and humble enough to work through their differences.

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Don’t allow silence, secrets, and suspicion to build walls between you and your spouse. Talk. Listen. Understand. Forgive. Grow together.

❤️ Openness builds trust. Trust strengthens intimacy. And healthy communication helps build a stronger marriage.

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