A Nigerian marriage counsellor, Pastor Bisi Adewale has cautioned women against spending extended periods abroad caring for grandchildren, warning that prolonged absence endangers marriages and leaves elderly husbands vulnerable.
Adewale who is the founder of Family Booster Ministry International and the College of Marital Success, issued the warning in a video posted on his Facebook page on Monday.
“Another thing I hate is for a woman to escape to Canada to go and do Omugwo for three years. Very bad. Very, very bad. Now a 75-year-old man is now going all around buying boli, buying groundnut, at his age. It is not good,” Pastor Bisi Adewale
Adewale said he had made a personal pact with his wife that they would always travel together, regardless of where their children lived.
“I told my wife, I said the children may move abroad. They can do everything. If you are going for Omugwo anywhere, we are going together. And I told my children — if your house is small, I have money. I will get a hotel. I will stay nearby,” he said.
The counsellor used medical scenarios to illustrate the importance of spousal presence at every stage of life.
“When you see a four-year-old boy with his doctor, what do you think the doctor will ask? Where is your mother? When you see an 84-year-old man before his doctor, what do you think the doctor will ask? Where is your wife?” he said.
Adewale also warned men who abuse their wives that they risk destroying their own futures, arguing that a wife’s role evolves from companion to caregiver as a couple ages.
“When a man is young, his wife is his mistress. When a man grows to 50 or 60, suddenly the wife becomes his mother. That is why when you are beating your wife when you are young, you are destroying your old age,” he said.
“When a man is 80 or 90, suddenly the wife is no more a mistress, sex may not even take place again. She has now become your nurse. But that is the time we need each other most.”
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